Back to school (as a middle-aged mom)

Or, how a mouse can more successfully navigate a maze

If you’ve been following my writing journey, you may recall that I decided to enroll in an MFA program in fiction. (If you’re new here, welcome! The post describing my MFA decision is here.)

As a result, last month found me, for the first time in 21 years, setting foot on a college campus as a new student. I was given my student ID on a lanyard, a campus map, told the name of the dorm I’d be living in (“Sawtell”), and dispatched to parts unknown.

My dorm room at Bennington: no way to hang clothes, but a lovely window

I felt like a teenager again, with all the same jitters. Not knowing my way around, I’d ask questions like “Where is the gym?” and get the response, “down the hill behind the library,” not helpful since I didn’t know where the library was, either. I’d walk to the dining hall and hope to spot a familiar face (my class had gathered once or twice on Zoom) or, if not, to have the courage to approach someone and say, “Can I join you?” Doubts and anxiety crept in: Would I make friends? Would anyone like me, and as important, would they like my writing?

That new-kid experience isn’t always fun. But science tells us it’s beneficial, as in this study:

“Researchers at the Zuckerman Institute had mice navigate simple mazes where the rules for finding rewards changed. Before entering the maze, some of the mice had the opportunity to explore unfamiliar areas or encounter unknown mice. The mice who had a new experience before attempting the maze had more success navigating it.”¹

A mouse? Probably a hamster. Photo by Silje Roseneng on Unsplash

Embrace the new experience, then. I quickly settled into the routines of the Bennington program: seminars, lectures, faculty readings, student readings, workshops. We had a snowstorm, and a day later, everything had melted away. I was impressed by the faculty and wanted to go out and read all their books, even the nonfiction and poetry (!). Also, the food was fantastic. I navigated the mouse-maze and became acquainted- even friends? with my fellow mice.

Commons in the snow. This building contains the dining hall, cafe, student lounge, bookstore, and some of our workshop rooms.

There was so much to process; I’m still reading through my notes and trying to learn from them. In the meantime, I’m back at home, working on my novel, an unwieldy beast that doesn’t know what it wants to be. But I’m hoping to tame it over the coming months (or years). This term, I’m working with Téa Obreht and hoping that even a shred of her wisdom rubs off on me.

---

Recommendations:

1. Listen: Heavyweight podcast. For eight seasons, host Jonathan Goldstein has helped others solve mysteries or fix conflicts in their lives. I binged this series over the past few weeks. Favorite episodes include #12 “Jesse,” #17 “Skye,” #27 “Scott,” #55 “Toby,” and the two part series in #40-41, “Barbara Shutt” followed by “Barbara Wilson.” You will laugh, you will cry. You will thank me. ;)

2. Listen: The Runaway Princesses podcast. A four-part documentary about Emirati princesses (daughters of the UAE crown prince) who tried to escape their caged lives. So unbelievable that this is true.

---

Reading Corner:

Sheesh, I have so many books to recommend from the past two months, but I’ll narrow it down to three.

If you’ve got time (or the ambition to read a big book this year), I’d like to suggest Lonesome Dove. When my advisor recommended this book, I was admittedly skeptical. What did a western have to teach me about writing? For the first 50-100 pages, I still wasn’t sold. But I stuck with it, and it’s a beautiful story, with memorable characters and dialogue and frankly, a lot to teach me about writing.

If you like book club fiction and want to learn about a country and time that gets scant coverage here, try The Storm We Made. Set in Malaya in the 1930’s and 40’s, this book follows a woman and three of her children through Japanese and British occupation. This is a page-turner that had me in tears.

Lastly, another literary novel that continues my love affair with contemporary Irish authors. The Bee Sting was on many “top 10 of 2023” lists (NPR, New York Times, etc), and now I see why. The breakdown of a family, told from the perspectives of the mother, father, son, and daughter, this book manages to be engrossing across all of its 600+ pages, but especially those last 150 or so. There, Murray gives a master class in turning the screws so tightly, you are as on the edge of your seat as a book can bring you.

How about you? What have you been reading, listening to, writing about, or thinking about over these past few months? What new experience will you try, to give yourself an edge in the maze of life?

1. https://giving.columbia.edu/why-should-you-try-something-new-every-day